Breathe
By Yohali Resendiz
I have interviewed very few survivors of "attempted femicide" and they all agree that pain and doubt forced them to stay and endure violence.
Others associate that "continuing in that cycle of violence" was weakness, lack of boundaries and little self-respect."
And those, have been the basis for raising the question in yet another feminicide:
What went wrong inside the home to lead to a horror story in which a woman and her two children end up like this?
And today, kind readers, I share with you the story of Astrid, 38, and her two children, Angel, 15, and Isabela, 9, the only survivor.
And I ask myself, why, why not teach protocols of action in schools and thus avoid the tragedies of losing one's life at the hands of the executioner whom one loves or loved?
Last Monday, March 3, night had fallen when in a home in Zapopan, 38-year-old Astrid and her son were beaten to death with a hammer by Eduardo "N", 49, her partner, who is now a fugitive. The little girl survived but is still in serious condition.
When I heard the story, the first thing I asked myself was: What explanation will Isabela be given when she wakes up and enters another nightmare? How will she overcome this pain?
And if, yes, during the first days everyone will be around you, the authority will be present and attentive to make sure that nothing is missing (even if the most valuable thing is already missing).
I also thought that the state government would instruct the institutions to provide medical, psychological and, of course, legal attention, but once the mourning is over for Astrid's family, for Isabela, there will come the mourning of those who survive the tragedy of having lost the person they loved most at the hands of their partner.
How can a crime be forgotten no matter how many years go by ... It is neither forgiven nor forgotten?
We have to understand that when you lose a daughter, sister, mother, friend, acquaintance or citizen to gender violence, the answers are uncertain and the dam you carry is for the rest of your life.
Mourning passes but grief is anchored to the heart.
And the usual...Astrid had decided to leave, to quit...she was in the middle of moving and destiny anchored her for some reason.
What the fuck did material things matter when a decision had already been made?
What mattered more than his own life and that of his two great and infinite loves?
Astrid decided to take time out of that destiny to make a move and in the end, everything was left in there, those material things and the bodies of her and her children.
The friend who lent her the truck lost contact with her before midnight.
When the Zapopan police arrived and looked into the window of the house they heard "moans and groans".
Reports indicate that the police called the Public Prosecutor's Office of the Women's Justice Center and Civil Protection to open the door. Again, they were late.
At 01:55 hours (two hours and 20 minutes after the report) it was too late, Astrid was lying lifeless and handcuffed next to the body of her beloved Angel and little Isabela was in a very serious condition.
And the Prosecutor's Office? Ah yes, they arrived after four o'clock in the morning?
It has transpired that the alleged murderer, Astrid's ex-partner, Eduardo "N" is not the father of the children...
And there, kind reader, what question comes to your mind?
Eduardo "N" is now a fugitive, perhaps sheltered by the family, as other families of femicides have done despite watching, listening, reading and knowing about the horror they did with their hands.
The media that have published the case state that he is an international consultant, expert in security, intelligence, defense and terrorism and promoter of the foundation Unidos por Nuestros Policías (although he has no background as a uniformed officer).
Do titles matter when they become femicides?
It also appears that Eduardo "N" is linked to the femicide of another girlfriend named Martha Berenice Melchor in 2004, in Culiacán, Sinaloa, where he is from.
And why isn't he in jail?
Whose responsibility is it that men like Eduardo "N" swarm after a crime and have the opportunity to form a home with another woman and also take her life?
Who starts the cycle of violence against women? Who is involved in these repeating cycles? The State? The police? The family? The aggressor? The victim? The judges? Who starts this cycle?
Newspaper reports state that after committing the femicide of his first girlfriend, he escaped in 2006 and was recaptured in Guadalajara, but why is he free?
And so.... Another massive 8M march is coming up in Mexico.
A march in which children do not have in their classrooms a protocol on how not to become a victim or victimizer and its consequences.
And so, it will be another march of pain suffered and felt and what else, oh yes, shouts and brotherhood and struggle and slogans and paintings and what else, what else? What else? Ah yes, hugs and kisses, shared tears and the sound of drums and what else? Ah yes, the latent mockery of the feminicides who look like wolves to lambs (women) marching for those who are and those who were taken from us....
And what else? Ah yes, one more year without really achieving a consensus among us of integration and organization because there are still loopholes between us that do not allow us to move forward and reach ALL together to the final goal which is to arrive alive to the destination of each one of us.
Forgive me if I write like this but one year someday, we should NO longer go out and march and better stay at a friend's house and talk and listen and hug and save the one who maybe next year will be at risk of losing her.
Get together every month, make a chat between emergency friends, have a code word, and arrive when she decides to denounce and tell her, leave everything, you'll get it back.
Make a fund available to get her out of there so that she has no other worries but to take her loves and continue to be the guardian of their lives.
To become a light, to be a platform for her to find work and psychological care elsewhere and to support her... to support her .... ....
This year, I will not march because I refuse to continue writing about feminicides and about that which stopped them: material things that organized friends can get.
We are all so powerful together but we are mostly on our own....
