Collagen

By Vivian Hunter

I wonder if the dating app algorithms have a twisted sense of humor or if they just enjoy watching the world burn. How does a 32-year-old man land on my 71-year-old profile? What kind of a glitch is this? But there he was, with an athletic body, a winning smile and an unsubtle insistence on meeting me...at my house.

Of course, because living with his brother prevented him from receiving visitors. Until she gave in. "You can come to my apartment and, if my brother is there, we lock the door." How practical, how convenient, how... disturbing. As if that wasn't enough, in his enthusiasm to prove his manhood to me, he decided to send me a video. Let's just say, from the waist down, the only thing small about the horny puppy is his age. Who told men we like their porn videos? If they want to show us something intimate, let it be their bank statement; maybe that will turn us on more. I let him keep sending material because he was in his office, and he was dying to get caught by his boss and get caught with his hands full.

It's not that I'm a prude. After all, I decided to enter the app with the intention of meeting someone. But this is where the enthusiasm of a mature woman eager to fall in love collides with the harsh reality: we don't have the same fears as men. While they worry about whether we look like our photos, we're evaluating whether we'll make it out of the first date alive.