Breathe
By Sara Reynoso
"If you do not love yourself, no one can love you" It seems like a death sentence or a supreme punishment for not loving yourself. Because besides, few of us understand for sure what "loving yourself" really is.
To begin with, self-love has a myriad of clichés and connotations.
We believe that self-love is to light a candle, take a bubble bath and put a delicious cream on our bodies, make ourselves pretty or buy ourselves something special, and although it is part of "loving ourselves", the reality is that self-love goes much further than that.
Who teaches us to love ourselves? Those of us who are 40 years old or older... grew up in a social environment that told us "Go for your neighbor", this silent voice told us "you don't matter... first there are your parents, your siblings, your neighbors, your children, your partner". Without realizing it, the mothers of that time taught us (with honorable exceptions) to cling tooth and nail to our partner because there was no worthy woman without a husband... and then, who told us about self-love? If we were wrong we used to hear a "get over there, I'll do it" in the best case scenario and in a bad scenario "how useless, don't you think?"
Today, however, everything screams loud and clear: "Love yourself to be loved!"
How? The software is not in the subconscious!
So begins the wonderful process of devouring countless self-help books, taking a thousand and one therapies ranging from traditional psychological therapies, to regressions, breathwork, quantum healing, etc etc etc etc.
And it is quite a way of the cross to begin to heal all those wounds that unwittingly distanced us from self-love.
The good news is that we are getting closer, today's moms have a different consciousness, so we motivate our children and try to respect them so as not to violate their dignity, I would say that in the new generations there is more confidence and self-esteem... but being honest, what a great conflict it is to learn to love ourselves in a world of constant comparison and competition.
It is a process of letting go of judgment, giving ourselves real permission to open the Pandora's box of the heart and start taking out all the dirty laundry. For many people it is better to remain somewhat oblivious to the pain and pretend that everything is fine, but that real work of going inward and beginning to heal, to accept and acknowledge that we are great, that we have attributes that no one else has, that we came to earth with a unique plan and purpose, few people undertake. We tend to stay in the upper layers of pain, why go deeper if we are fine today?
What we do not know is that the pain gets trapped inside and over time generates an empty hole, increasingly difficult to fill, which leads us to feel dissatisfaction despite having everything.
It took me a divorce and many disappointments to begin to see myself differently, because although I was never minimized with words, I grew up believing that I was not so worthy or so great, but the good news is that through therapies and infinite healing processes I could finally turn to see myself as someone valuable, and the reality is that if we dig a little bit, humanity suffers from insecurity. The main problem I have observed the last 12 years in my patients in consultation is that we are all looking for love and acceptance, all of us.
When we begin to take therapy we see that deep in our heart there are wounds of the inner child that always show up, but we learn to shield and disguise them, with titles, with brand name clothes, with make-up and at other times with a tremendous obsession with success and not failing.
I would tell them that true self-love is based on the acceptance of who we are, without labels, without judgment, with the deep awareness that every day we can evolve to be better and feel more comfortable on the planet, without so much frustration and without so much expectation.
True self-love is based on the ability to accept yourself as you are, but loving yourself so much that growing, being happy and evolving becomes your priority. Stop wanting to please others and start pleasing yourself first, then others, if we want to. It sounds selfish and maybe our brain says NO at first, but this self-love works like the oxygen mask on the plane.
To accept our body and our shape, to be aware of our value beyond the shape, no matter if we are alone or in a couple. To stop judging our faults and embrace every moment of life despite the chaos, these are the glimpses of true self-love.
It is putting yourself as a priority, listening to your body and stopping when it needs to stop, it is moving forward in spite of fear knowing that an inner voice called heart and intuition guide us, it is feeling yourself a gift to the world and allowing the world to become a gift to you.
The reality is that all of this IS possible.
Through these weekly letters I will share with you the magic of healing and learning to love ourselves. Feeling life, living the process, meditation, opening consciousness and courage are the main elements of a path full of light and the great news is that through small meditations that I will share with you in our section of BREATHE, you will find help with this process and a haven of peace in our busy lives.
So let's love ourselves more and more every day, from the full acceptance of our being, making us responsible for ourselves, so that we can then project that love and become a living embrace of consciousness.
Wait for the meditation... The first one of course will be of SELF LOVE.
In love, by love and for love.
Sara Reynoso
Therapist and Energy Healer
Opinion 51
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
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