Breathe
By Mónica Hernández
The first day of the rest of your life can occur several times throughout your life. It comes to mind every birthday, every time you change your marital status, when you start your student life in a certain career or begin your working life. Or as in the recent case of a dear friend, because of a stroke that has turned her life 180 degrees towards permanent disability. There is another day that is also the first day of the rest of your life: the day you get confirmation that you are officially menopausal. Sounds terrifying.
You had already anticipated it: hot flashes, mood swings, insomnia, the goodbye to the waistline and the welcome to fat where there never was before. Gravity began to do its thing and yet you refused to see that things were settling somewhere else. Yes, mirrors may lie but clothes don't. On the one hand, happy to have finished reproductive life (now you just have to be careful not to catch any STD), but no longer counting days to calculate fertile and infertile days. You stop buying and carrying condoms and feminine hygiene products, not even to help a friend in distress. You can wear white as many days as you want without looking at the calendar. You can finally sleep on your back or stomach without fear of waking up in the middle of the Japanese flag. That door is closed. Today other windows and hallways open. You have half your life left and now you are freer. Also to be more adult and more responsible for you and everything you put in your body (food and thoughts included).
We blame the patriarchy for a lot of things, and yes, they are to blame. But it is time to recognize that we are complicit in some issues. You are complicit. I am an accomplice. We are all responsible. Menopause will happen to all of us. When was the last time you mentioned hormones at the family potluck? Does your partner know that your mood swings aren't just due to your temper? Let's talk about menopause. With everyone. It's not a reason for silence or embarrassment. Don't pity, don't apologize. Menopause is not only natural. It is normal.
I read that about 85% of women suffer from symptoms associated with menopause. Only 10 to 15% of men get to identify any symptoms of andropause (yes, they too have mood swings, insomnia and develop a belly that wasn't there before. Yes. They, too, have their body organs sagging, just like women. Some men even get stretch marks.) Do we want men to understand us or second guess us? Normally, and let's not fool ourselves, we want them to take out their crystal ball and understand what even we are not able to explain. And we don't know how to explain it because we don't inform ourselves. We do not read. We don't ask. We don't talk about it. Women's stuff" has always been considered taboo and we make sure it stays that way. Let's read about menopause. Let's ask about menopause. Let's talk about menopause. We normalize violence, indifference, racism and many harmful social attitudes such as gossip, criticism, envy and body-shaming. Let's normalize menopause, and I'm not telling you to hang a sign around your neck saying "nice to meet you, I'm menopausal". It's not about a fad, a philosophical trend or a yoga pose. It's about including the rest of your family and friends in your life. Welcome to the rest of your life.
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
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