Practical guide to loving a person with Down Syndrome

By Mariana Conde

It seems to me that all the time I write or speak about disability, that I spend my time demanding spaces for inclusion, fighting with institutions, companies and government for their lack of attention and for discriminating; that my appeals to people's conscience and my insistence on appealing to our better nature must be tiring.

Today, as we celebrate World Down Syndrome Day , I decided to do just that, to celebrate it, talking not about rights, laws and conventions, but about the person.

And for those who don't know someone with Down syndrome (DS), here's a sort of guide to the one thing she's an expert at:

1. To love a person with DS you first have to know him/her. Where can we find one? It won't be very difficult, in Mexico almost one out of every thousand births is to someone with DS, that is, there are many and today it is easier to meet one because, although slowly, we have advanced in their inclusion. 
2. Once you meet her, you may want to greet her, ask her name. She will surely want to get to know you, and although sometimes she does not pronounce the words very clearly, she is very eloquent with her gestures and when she wants to, with smiles.
3. She is not sick, nor is she ill, DS is a genetic condition, not a disease, it cannot be removed nor is it contagious. 
4. You'll notice that people like her are almost always short, but that doesn't mean they're all children. She, like you and me, grows in maturity and abilities, at her own pace, but without stopping. You have to treat her according to her age.
5. Often, you will see that they walk with their tongue out, this is usually because they have low muscle tone throughout the body, and the mouth and tongue are not spared, although they try very hard to strengthen them in therapy. That tongue out may give them a somewhat helpless appearance, but they are not a hair of a fool.
6. When you try to explain something to him, he may not seem to grasp it right away. Communication between her neurons is slower or slower, so sometimes she gets lost in transit. It is convenient to look her in the eyes when you speak and repeat what you said after a few seconds. She understands you, in fact she understands more than she is able to communicate so she may get frustrated and the response may take a while or not be very comprehensive.
7. The best thing you can do for a person with DS is to treat them like anyone else, give them opportunities to make friends, study and work; make sure you have high expectations. 
8. A person with DS, like you, always wants to do what he likes to do. You have to give them a little rope to rock the boat and do what they want to do. Let's just say she can be very persuasive, even if some people call her stubborn. 
9. And speaking of persuasion, they are usually geniuses of charisma. Abstract thinking may not be their thing, but emotional intelligence is their greatest weapon. Don't be surprised one day to find that, once again, you've given in to their whims. 
10. There are some people who condescendingly refer to people with DS as angels. And no, neither angel nor demon. If you want to check it out, one day I'll introduce you to mine. 
11. A person with DS is no more cuddly than anyone else. Like anyone else, some like hugs and some do not. By limits and example, they learn where and with whom. 
12. It used to be said that one should not get too attached, that a person with DS did not live long. But it was discovered that it was only necessary to give her the necessary medical attention, since 50% of people like her have heart disease. Today, if they are operated on in time, they have a life expectancy of over 60 years. So go ahead, let yourself get attached, it won't be difficult.
13. The last one is the most important tip of all, remember it well: be careful with your own heart, people with Down syndrome are often big thieves. 

HAPPY WORLD DOWN SYNDROME DAY!

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