Breathe
By Mariana Conde
A few weeks ago I was talking with a dear friend, one who is a good person, a good husband, a good father, intelligent; someone who is knowledgeable about current issues. He very kindly commented that he follows my column and generally enjoys it. The only one I didn't like was the one in which you mention that men leave divorced wives in the street, he told me.
After clarifying that my column did not say that, we came to the point that my friend declared not to have understood from my text, or about which he found untenable what he understood: that domestic and care work should be remunerated.
What he understood: women should be paid to stay at home to enjoy their children and go for coffee with other moms.
What I meant to say (and which my intelligent, educated friend, whom I have never considered sexist, still found unbelievable): That we have to count all the work that is done at home and especially that of caring for infants, sick or disabled dependents and the elderly, and find a way to divide it equitably, as well as remunerate it or promote that it is the State who provides it (just as it is already done, albeit insufficiently, with daycare centers, IMSS, ISSSTE, INFONAVIT, support for NINIs, etc.)
Why? Because until today this has been a responsibility that - in its great majority - women cover for free; that prevents them from having a formal and remunerated job; that subsidizes with this work the role of the State as provider of a health and care system to its most vulnerable populations. It perpetuates economic inequality between genders and the possibility of women's autonomy.
As children we learn to work as a team: you get the cardboard, you bring the colors, the clever one does research on the nervous system and the one who knows how to draw draws it; the most adventurous one presents it to the class. In formal work we all work in groups too: there are roles and responsibilities are divided, but we contribute to the same objectives and teams are formed to achieve them and for specific projects. Why is it not like that at home?
Why can't we say: cleaning the house and cooking takes a certain number of hours, bringing children to and from school and attending school meetings, helping with homework, bathing, comforting, taking care of fevers, entertaining and putting people to bed, this and that. Of course there are things that can't be divided like childbirth and breastfeeding, but otherwise, we can at least recognize how much effort needs to be put into it. To this we must add the hours of formal work of whoever has it and divide the rest between the two.
