Breathe
By Mariana Conde Mena
The news of the last few weeks have depressed me in a singular way.as always, there is bad news everywhere, but today I am referring to the series of brutal attacks against women in different corners of the planet and that seem to fall on deaf ears in this corner of ours, where such attacks are a real epidemic.first we heard about the Pélicot case. For those who do not know what I am talking about, this man drugged his wife to the point of unconsciousness for ten years and then brought strangers into his house to rape her, strangers whom he recruited in a chat room of men whose fantasies were about abusing women. There were more than 80 rapists, 50 of whom were formally charged and are on trial, as is the husband, Dominique Pélicot. The couple had been together for 50 years, have three grown children and seven grandchildren, what happens to so much shared life after something like that? How do you recover? I can't stop thinking about her, Gisèle, and her courage in confronting her tormentor and other aggressors in open court. This is in France, can you imagine how many of the 80's would have been caught and prosecuted here in Mexico? Even worse, under the new reform of the judiciary? Acouple of days later we learned of the horrible death of the Ugandan Olympic athlete Rebecca Cheptegei, burned by her partner who, following an argument, doused her with fuel and lit her with a match, without caring when he burned himself as well. I can't imagine the viciousness required to set fire in front of any living being, much less a person. Even more shocking is to know that this is not an isolated event: from 2021 to today this is the third African athlete of international stature to be burned to death at the hands of her partner. It seems that some men cannot stand being overshadowed by their wife and that being a successful woman in certain (many? all?) cultures is an unforgivable affront and a mortal danger. (Even in a country like the United States there are cases like "the Oscar curse" which refers to the fact that women who win Best Actress at the Oscar awards are 1.68 times more likely to get divorced than those who were only nominated).
What leaves me groping blindly for answers is: who do these beasts think they are to take a woman's life in such a brutal way? They don't even think about the consequences, perhaps because there rarely are any. I am convinced, because history proves it, that in the reverse case no woman would go unpunished or untouched. These crimes in Africa, as in Mexico, are prosecuted, but clearly not seriously enough, as they continue to be repeated.As if the oven was baked for buns, a few days ago, Congressman Marte Alejandro Ruiz Nava (of Morena, in case you had any doubts), for Tamaulipas, declared very worried before the media that he proposes to pass an initiative to create a Men's Institute to defend the poor little males from the multiple micro-violences they suffer from women when, for example, we refuse to make them "lunch" or worse, love because we have a headache; This is micro-violence on the part of the woman, she says, "because she is not giving in" to her man's desires.So not feeding a man or not being at his disposal when he feels like having sex could, under the logic of this defender of gender equality, become a crime. Why not? says Martian thinking, if women complain even when a man raises his voice to them.Rhetoric not only retrograde but dangerous because, any resemblance to reality is NOT mere coincidence.Dominique Pélicot claimed in his defense that he had had to resort to abuse because his wife refused to be a swinger with him (female micro aggression?) and that this trial had ruined his life, poor victim.On the other hand, there is a reason why verbal violence towards women is a crime and a red light; perhaps if Rebecca Cheptegei had been able to report that the discussions with her boyfriend were becoming threatening, she would not have ended up with 80% of her body burned and the failure of all the organs in her body.It is clear that Congressman Marte has no idea of what he is saying or the context in which he says it, but recklessness or lack of empathy are not sufficient grounds to condone someone's occurrences: animal or not, the gentleman, a public servant, has the responsibility to inform himself, to connect tongue to brain, to raise awareness and direct his attention to the serious problems of abuse and gender violence that are destroying the social fabric of our own community.The very complete and accurate position of the INE repudiating the statements of Congressman Marte should perhaps serve as a consolation for me, but it does not. Because something that is clear after the imprudent verbiage of the congressman is the mentality of many Mexicans who continue to fight for not losing the privilege of their machismo. For example, certain reactions on X, formerly Twitter, where, in the midst of a majority of disapproving comments, we find pearls like these:
@fer Aaah right? When you flip them over, it's wrong! I know, my comment is micro macho!@Robso Ready to support this initiative! Where do we form?@partow That's why Salgado Macedonio doesn't ask, he forces his way in =)@elmano That man is my new idolAnd my favorite, who tries to reason:@Gab He not only said the sex thing (there he went too far) but he gave more examples, don't you think equality should be sought instead of supporting a special group?
Twitter is Twitter, they will say, and behind the anonymity of a handle a lot of nonsense is said and trolls abound. But the most immediate and simple example was when one of the reporters who was interviewing him, upon finishing listening to the deputy's nonsense, thought it wise to comment: "and where do I sign...?"
Where do I sign? I would like to tell him, Mars and others like them:
Where do I sign so that Alma's short skirt and makeup are not blamed for her rape? Where do I sign so that Mari's parents don't pull her out of high school and make her work to pay for her brother's education?
Where do I sign so that Mrs. Marta's alcoholic husband, who already has eight children, does not come to force himself on her intoxicated?
Where do I sign so that Jessica can work in whatever she wants and earn the same as her colleague Juan?
Where do I sign to make the rapist, the batterer and the femicide suffer the consequences of their actions?
Where do we, men and women together, sign a new pact to give children a better role model and self-esteem? Let them know that they don't need to dwarf women to feel great?
Where do we sign?
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
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