Breathe
By Lourdes Encinas
For Jeanette and Lizbeth, whose institutions failed them, but who had friends who supported them.
At the beginning of the month, a video on social networks showed the brutal aggression of Christian de Jesús Rojas Martínez against his girlfriend in Tamaulipas. The determination of the victim's friend, who intervened to defend her and seek help, contrasted with the police inaction, who refused to arrest the aggressor arguing lack of arrest warrant, so now he is on the run.
Young Danna 's act of bravery saved Melanie' s life and became a very clear example of the rallying cry that is repeated in women's movements: I'm taken care of by my friends, not the police!
The phrase is a complaint about the deficiencies that persist in the chain of care, procurement and administration of justice for victims of gender violence. The lack of training -often lack of interest- of police, public ministries, prosecutors and court personnel, makes it difficult for women to denounce or remain in a process in which they are often revictimized.
INEGI's National Survey on the Dynamics of Household Relationships (ENDIREH 2021) shows that the vast majority of women victims of violence did not file a complaint or request support from any authority. Among the reasons given are: not knowing where or how to do it, fear of the consequences or threats, thinking that they will not believe her or that they will blame her, and shame.
Percentages of women who do not report, by area of violence:
- Community: 94.7%.
- Labor: 92%.
- Schooling 91.2%.
- Family: 89.9%.
- In the couple: 78.3%.
On the other hand, in all types of violence measured by the survey, victims said that when they tell someone about their experience, they do so to a family member or a friend, with lawyers and institutions coming in last. In other words, they rely on those they do trust.
The accompaniment of a trusted person is crucial in this type of cases, beyond the physical presence they make up for the institutional shortcomings, they offer a safe space in which victims feel understood, secure and validated, creating much more favorable conditions for their recovery.
So on this International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women I want to recognize the friends, the mothers, the sisters, the daughters, the nieces, the aunts, the allies and even the strangers who help victims heal so they can move forward.
To those who listen to you, believe you and do not judge you.
To those who stand up for you, risking themselves if necessary.
To those who heal your wounds, physical and emotional.
To those who accompany you to denounce.
To those who remain by your side during the long judicial processes.
To those who march by your side.
To those who open their spaces to spread your case.
The ones that warn you where or who is a danger.
To those that comfort your family.
To those who take care of your children.
To those who are, even in absence.
The ones that make you laugh.
To those who demand justice on your behalf if you are no longer around to do so.
To those who do take care of us!
As institutions improve their protocols and capabilities, support networks among women will continue to be critical. As Danna demonstrated in defending Melanie, friends don't just care: they save lives.
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
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