Breathe
Por Nunca Madres (Iran Sosa and Isabel Cortes, co-founders)
Why write about non-motherhoods on May 10? Because since we started reflecting on non-motherhoods by choice, we have seen how social networks are filled with antagonisms between mothers and non-mothers. By the way, for those who read us from outside, May 10 is celebrated in Mexico as Mother's Day, and it is a day when it slows down -practically- everything except restaurants, flooded with families who go to celebrate that day to mom.
We write this day about non-motherhoods, not to confront them, and not to enter into simplistic debates about whether we can call ourselves mothers of dogs, cats, plants, doctoral theses, in the end we also exercise care with other people and existences.
We write today because in a world in environmental, economic and social crisis more and more women are thinking and reflecting on whether or not we want, can and should be mothers. We also write because from Nunca Madres we strongly believe that we have had enough of antagonizing with mothers, in the end we all need each other, let's recognize that interdependence and let's walk together in those differences.
Let's start with the first point, we are more and more women (urban and with certain/many privileges) who question the mandate of motherhood that some of us live. The latest population censuses in cities such as San Francisco, New York and Barcelona indicate that there are now more pets living in homes than children. And why is this happening, and what are the implications for public policy and corporate politics?
Not only is there a growing awareness of the environmental degradation we are experiencing, but we have begun to live it, to feel it. Without trying to go into all the issues, we will simply highlight two: the current water crisis and the very high temperatures in Mexico. Many then think: "uff, can you imagine what this issue will be like in 10 years, why am I bringing a new life into this world?" or even: "beyond desire, is it ethical to bring someone into this world under these conditions?"
On the other hand, there are many women who due to economic and social issues do not want or cannot bring a new little person under their care and upbringing. Those who are mothers know the economic cost of having a child. Of course this is very relative because it depends on the economic capacity of each person, but this phenomenon has been called social infertility. "Social infertility is the inability of a person to have a child because of their social circumstances. The reasons may be not having a partner, not having a support network to take care of the baby or having an economic and labor situation that prevents them from offering that little person the minimum standards of security and accompaniment."- Adriana Castro.
We are still a minority of women who choose not to be mothers, but it is an increasingly common phenomenon. It is time to pave the way for women and people with childbearing capacity to come, to shout our stories, to shout our reasons, all of them being valid, even a simple one: because I do not want to be a mother.
Here we are, the women who are choosing not to be mothers, and from this choice we ask those who are mothers: How can we walk together again? How can we, from our chosen non-motherhoods, collectivize the care and upbringing of their children? How can we leave them a better world?
* Never Mothers is an initiative that aims to raise awareness and generate greater visibility of non-motherhood in Mexico and Latin America, always with respect for motherhood. Our purpose is to inform, support and accompany women who are in the process of deciding whether or not to become mothers, and those who have already made the decision and seek to be part of a community of similar people. The above without ignoring that there are other circumstances, realities and violent situations that do not allow some people to decide freely about their bodies, or to decide freely whether or not they want to be mothers.
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
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