Breathe
By María Elena Esparza Guevara, founder of Ola Violeta AC and Gender Advisor of the Citizens' Council of the CDMX. D. candidate in History of Thought at the UP, Master in Human Development at the Ibero and graduate of the Women's Leadership Program at Oxford University.
"I would have preferred my husband to beat me, so no one would doubt my pain". This phrase comes back to me in the day and at night; it was said to me by a victim of psychological violence a few days ago and my soul froze.
We live in a country where seven out of every ten women over the age of 15 have suffered at least one situation of gender violence, according to the most recent edition of the National Survey on the Dynamics of Household Relationships, presented last year by Inegi. There are -there are- thirty-five million four hundred thousand women, but if we look at the data of prosecuted files and even emergency calls, the numbers do not even come close to representing the drama of this reality.
What explains this? One of the variables is the silence that runs through the gender mandates assigned to women, from "you look prettier when you are quiet" to "you better not say anything because they will think you are crazy". There are linguistic studies carried out during the last decade in Spain, England, the United States and Mexico in which, for the first time, the gender perspective is introduced to reach a recurring conclusion: since we are girls we learn to speak little and fast when there are men so as not to occupy their time.
The problem is that this is not a matter limited to conversation or social coexistence. The unspoken words weigh, almost as much as the feelings that fear of social judgments and prejudices bury. It is very difficult for a woman who has been raped to gain confidence - in herself and in her environment - to talk about the aggressions that can neutralize her until she becomes a victim of what I call emotional feminicide, the subject of my doctoral research.
In this context, it is possible to measure the relevance of the campaign #YaNoMás #Háblalo, launched by Opinión 51 in alliance with the Citizen Council for Security and Justice of Mexico City and Grupo IMU to make visible one of the symbolic centers of the normalization of violence.
Silence does have sound, not only in Simon & Garfunkel's famous song, but in everyday life. It is heard as the laughter after a hurtful joke, the shouts of a jealous man or the blows to be hidden with makeup; it permeates everything with the heaviness of the open secret in any of the five types recognized by the General Law on Women's Access to a Life Free of Violence: psychological, physical, patrimonial, economic and sexual.
Let's talk, let's accompany each other! If you or someone you know suffers violence and does not know where to start, recommend that they contact the Security Line or Chat de Confianza of the Citizens' Council; the legal and psychological support service with a gender perspective is available through 55 5533 5533 for the entire country, 24/7 and is also confidential.
Building confidence so that a victim can speak out is everyone's responsibility. When you see the campaign posters, scan the QR code to hear our stories, you may be surprised to learn that you are not alone.
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of Opinion 51.
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