By Gabriela Gorab
I love me. You love you
Loving relationships are a fundamental aspect of the human experience. However, success in these relationships is often influenced by our ability to love and accept ourselves. This essay explores the relationship between our love experiences and the transition to self-acceptance and self-love, based on a series of personal notes and reflections.
Lack-Based Attraction
One of the key points in the notes is the attraction of people who reflect a lacking vibration. Vibration theory suggests that we attract people and situations that are in harmony with our emotional and mental frequency. When a person vibrates in lack, they are likely to attract individuals who also feel incomplete or needy. This pattern can perpetuate cycles of unsatisfactory relationships, where both individuals seek to fill inner voids through each other. In his book "The Five Love Languages," Gary Chapman explains how understanding our own love languages can change our perspective and help us attract more fulfilling relationships.
The Influence of Past Relationships
Another recurring theme is the influence of past relationships, especially those residual feelings toward a previous partner. Holding residual thoughts and feelings toward a previous partner can interfere with the ability to form healthy new connections. It is crucial to recognize that attachments to former partners are normal, but should not dictate our present experiences. Introspection and therapy can help close these cycles, allowing one to move forward without the weight of the past. "Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller provides insight into how attachment styles affect our current and past relationships.