Breathe
By Areli Paz
Depression: Emotion that ties you to the past.
Anxiety: Emotion that wants to reach the future.
Balance: meeting point in the mirror, between what you want and what you feel.
That day I arrived from a party, it had been weeks of "friends", partying, "fun", excessive spending, tequilas, wine, lots of laughter, lots of laughter, lots of laughter.
Also a lot of exercise, sex, talks, trips, 7 thousand plans, a lot of work and many, many millions of laughs.
I felt perfect. I felt "happy".
The excesses of whatever are a symptom, but for the world the high degree of happiness is to be celebrated, even if it is false.
Chasing success and daily approval in whatever became a driving force in my life. One day it shut down and I didn't realize it.
I had everything, but I felt empty, insecure and deeply sad.
Another symptom, sadness is normal, but the kind that comes unexplained and makes you disconnect little by little from what you love, is dangerous.
In my mind there was only one enemy and that was myself.
That night at the window I saw the exit door.
When they told me stories of depression or anxiety I used to take it as a joke, I tried to tell them "échale ganas" without having to mention the trite and stupid phrase.
Maybe deep down I was reluctant to think that one day I would be standing there in a cold sweat with the worst thoughts.
Asking for help saved me. You don't die, but when you wake up you have to rethink the question, and then what?
I do not usually give advice, but if you who read me have gone through critical moments in which you see no way out, if you feel that life overtakes you and nothing makes you happy, you are not alone. There are ways to recover and put your last strength in the next goal which is good mental health.
It is then possible to rebuild.
Then, it is possible to remove from life what you do not want and protect what you love.
It's your turn to use the triple r: solve, answer and restate.
It is up to you to use all emotional and physical means to regain balance and peace of mind.
It's your turn to save.
Then you have to eat healthy, exercise, talk less and listen more.
It's your turn to cry, a lot.
Then you have to go to a psychologist and a psychiatrist.
It's your turn to be patient.
You have to be criticized, bullied or segregated from "friendships".
Then you meet better friends and better people who add to your life, in fact, such a critical moment helps you to see realities and appreciate what you do have.
It's your turn to break paradigms and beliefs that have tied you to the past.
It is up to you to delete the never and turn off the always.
Then you'll go back to laughing excessively but without the need to hide the real you.
Forgive yourself, the past is gone.
Then you will make other mistakes, because that's what life is all about, and then you will be better off.
Do not leave anything for tomorrow.
Enjoy everything, no matter how small or cheesy it may be.
Stop lying to yourself, if you are not well you don't have to be well by force.
Value your sleep.
Value the people who stay by your side and with whom you plan to enjoy the rest of your life.
Study languages, travel, cook, do what you think is not for you. Discover the human being you are.
I did not die, because it was not my time, because it was not the way and I had to draw from somewhere in my body the will and strength to go on living.
And then? I fight my bad thoughts every day. I don't always win, but no one today thinks of leaving without enjoying.
I used to play with my last name and say that would be the only peace I would ever know.
I have learned that being at peace is a daily, arduous and highly rewarding work. But it is not a gift, it is a life decision.
And then? It's your turn to read each and every one of the articles that Opinion 51 will be sharing this month. Each text is made with love, care, sensitivity and thehope that you, who read us, will want to be better every day.
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of Opinion 51.
More than 150 opinions from 100 columnists await you for less than one book per month.
Comments ()