Breathe
By Elena Videgaray
Hot flashes,climacteric, mental fog, depressive mood, tachycardia, irritability, exhaustion, insomnia... menopause. Words that came and -irremediably- became relevant in my life. Now they all dance to their own rhythm and disconfigured beat in my head and organism and I then feel that something in me is wrong, is it me, is everything wrong, do you understand me, do I understand myself, what hurts, what doesn't hurt, what doesn't hurt. Then I think that maybe I don't like living to the fullest as much as I thought I would, or even more: how much do I like living? The new hormonal revolution planted itself in me without mercy and without asking. It does not let me see it; it hides in my changing mood, in my anxieties and doubts, it transcends the vision of my surroundings, it alters my look and it is there, behind the mirror in my forgetfulness, in my ruminative and darkest thoughts. Then it crosses the barrier of me and sneaks into my conversations and my algorithms. What a nightmare!
This dissertation (my own, by the way) is the reality faced by women in this natural phase of life in which life itself reminds us that it is a continuous game of profit and loss.
When we experience a loss in general, there is a process that implies a change, an adjustment or a new vision. This adaptive process, however brief or extensive it may be, is called mourning and is precisely the emotional response of a person to the experience of a loss.
The climacteric period is a phase in the woman charged with many losses which leads to a process of psychic suffering compared to bereavement(Misri, 2002).
So this stage of life turns out to be an interesting combo of losses: the reproductive phase, youth, family status (divorce, empty nest), the death of our loved ones (father, mother, friends, relatives), health as we knew it: taken for granted and constant, and of course the vision for the future or in other words, our sense of life.
Now we have to make a series of adjustments and transformations in our lifestyle and inner world to adapt and find emotional stability.
Going through menopause implies a deep work to accept it and incorporate it into the new reality and life circumstances of each woman. It also means considering a period of emotional turbulence that coincidentally resembles the changes that are unleashed in puberty and adolescence and, of course, brings with it several duels.
It is then up to us to face our losses, to give space to the natural grieving process, to make visible the emotions involved, to accept them, to order them and to give them a voice. We must also give space to the conscious vulnerability, attended to and listened to. To know oneself capable, to grieve for what has been lost, to appeal to self-compassion, to be tolerant with oneself and to love oneself above all things.
It is up to us to honor our solitude and to value company more than ever, to learn to enjoy this new time that gives us a broader view of others, of ourselves, and to remember from time to time that there is nothing more favorable - in mourning and in life - than knowing how to accompany and be accompanied.
*Elena Videgaray is a clinical and pediatric thanatologist certified by AMTAC (Asociación Mexicana de Tanatología A.C.) Volunteer of Fundación Acompaña. She is a specialist in crisis intervention with studies in logotherapy and an Expert in Accompaniment from the Francisco Vitoria University, Spain. Lecturer at the MODERS forum, gives talks and workshops on grief to companies and foundations. He participates in sections of some programs such as "Sale el Sol" and with Nacho Lozano in Imagen Television with interventions of grief processes.
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
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