Breathe
By Edelmira Cárdenas
"In this life everything has to do with sex, except sex...sex is about power," I heard one person say that phrase during the week.
It does not necessarily have to be this way, but unfortunately there can be a strong correlation between power and sex. Why do I consider it unfortunate? Because when we talk about power, at least in this case, it is about who commands whom: who orders and who obeys; who subjugates and who is subjugated, in short: the one who can punish and the one who has to suffer. And in the case of Mexican culture it is very typical (but not an unbreakable rule) that the man is the one with the baton and the woman the one who has to kiss the ground where she steps on, and I have no doubt that at the time of sex this cultural modus vivendi ismade manifest.
It could well be valid that there are those who are experts in reinventing pleasure in bed and others in going with the flow in it, not all of us can be "the alpha female or the alpha male" of the herd, there are those who are made to direct pleasure and others to be directed in it. The problem of the above is when instead of there being healthy direction and way there is tyranny and submission; and when within a relationship of two it seems more the infatuation of only one there cannot be true and substantial pleasure, because only the one who freely chooses to reach it has the experience of pleasure.
A very clear example of the above is that some years ago I met a young woman of about 28 years old, she was the mistress of a married person. Sexually speaking, the man was a tyrant with her and she allowed him to do it because she didn't think she deserved better. She never made sexual contact with herself, they had sex only when he came to visit her on a whim, and she was never interested in looking for a partner who was a potential life partner, or a freer, more committed type of relationship. The above is a clear example of how sometimes someone who has a life that does not make him happy and where he cannot control everything (in this example the man) looked for a way, unhealthy in this case, to release the frustration for the lack of control he could not exercise (and he found her).
It is always good to remember (as mentioned by a historian and politician) that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the same applies to sex when rather than pleasure and virtue there is only vice and disintegration in between.
The good news of all this is that it is always in your hands to choose whether the sex you practice helps you to find personal strength and experience that develops you in pleasure, or is a pretext to make you feel less or to make you feel less. I for one invite you to make sex the occasion to discover personal strength, not at the expense of your partner, but together with her.
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
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