Breathe
By Areli Paz Trejo
Violence: the painful snatching away of tranquility and security
Zozobra: Latent fear that shortens breathing for a while.
Hope: daily thought that it will soon pass
Hopefully we will soon be able to say that violence is a thing of the past for Mexico.
If only soon we could say, "very well, this strategy worked, no matter the party, the character or the city, life would be lighter, not having to beware of those who mug, swindle or kill".
Not to have to see images of people in pieces again. Not to have to register femicides, not to have to flee our cities and families.
Culiacán has been in a state of anxiety for a month and a half, with that shortness of breath when listening to a bang and trying to decipher whether it was a bullet or an explosion.
Little by little, stories came to me that moved me and gave me a human perspective on the tragedy.
Families hiding at home to avoid being targets of violence, families that have to go out to earn money and bring food home, change schedules, modify routines and strengthen family ties and friendships through a WhatsApp.
Each name is referential. To give identity to each story.
A burst of gunfire sent Juan running in panic, that afternoon in Culiacan, one of more than a month and a half ago changed his life.
Juan is a salesman, he has been living in Sinaloa for 10 years because he found a way of life that took him away from the stress of Mexico City, his wife is from there and the family is very loving and frank, says Juan. His business is technology and he has already had to close.
The teacher Fany thought it would happen soon, "we already know how it is here with violence, but we had never experienced this" she tells me with her voice cracking. She pauses to take a breath and say that she and her students return to class from time to time, "when things seem to calm down" but in reality they do it with fear, they have almost always finished these weeks at home and using the zoom "like when the pandemic", no, much worse, in the pandemic they knew systematically how to take care of themselves and how to take leave to see each other, hug each other and recover their lives. The enemy was a virus, there was also death and sadness but it was possible to live.
With the violence unleashed a month and a half ago, desolation, depression and anguish take over the lives of children and teenagers who cannot find simple explanations. Fany says that everyone knows about the violence, that it is known, but never like this. She goes through all the moods, sadness, anger, rage and frustration, daily work to maintain her health and that of those she is in charge of, because she knows she is responsible for helping the students with whom day by day they share a life in confinement or in the classroom with fear "because of anything".
He says that his kids don't give their opinion of one group or the other, but on the net and with their cell phones they let each other know where to go, where to go for fast food and where to go home.
He says that in Culiacán it is not that they normalize violence, it is that they have to adapt, but that this time they even feel guilty when they manage to leave home, see their loved ones and return safe and sound to sleep in their beds.
Luis, has a business that he can no longer sustain, he has two children, the little girl does not understand much what is happening, but her trips to the street are now usually fast and with a father who feels guilty because one Saturday at noon he decided to "take her out for a while" and they had a shooting with a dead man that they left a few meters away, he covered her face and tried not to distress her, but at school, the day they returned, they made them rehearse in case there was a shooting, the class was just that, this little girl returned home distressed. "What do you tell a child about this, how do you explain it to them? That just as there are good guys, there are bad guys," he says resignedly.
Luis does not believe it will end soon and assures that he has no plan B, that what he has in Culiacán is his life and would not be enough for an escape.
Melisa has an esthetic, "many beautiful women come, they don't work, they want to look beautiful and here we take care of them, I studied because they forced me, my thing is beauty". Melisa says she never asks anything to her clients, out of respect and self-care she learned to carry on light conversations, "the soap opera, the show, fashion, the Kardashian, the Nodal and Belinda, now that she is married", she says no intimacy and now even less. She is a native of Chihuahua, but found a home in Culiacán since she was a child, she says that since "Shiquita" she learned not to go to certain places, not to get together with certain people, not to fall in love with those who offer a lot and to live life in silence. "Then the shisme is known fast."
Alberto has a restaurant, "good food from here, now we are closed and I'm working hard making food at home and selling through WhatsApp, I already had to fire people, I can't afford it and it's been a month", Alberto set up his place with a lot of effort, he started to do well, but even if he opens, few want to sit down quietly "no, here there is no more quietly, we do everything fast", he says he can't stand it much longer. His friend works in a hotel and is not a tourist at all, the little that arrives, he even takes care of his own shadow.
Vicente says they are fed up that he is retired and that one of these days he will return to the street as if nothing happened, "we are the good guys, we can't keep hiding", Felipa, his wife shares stories and good wishes on WhatsApp, "then it gets tiring" says Vicente, but she thinks we have to talk about something else, turn on the TV, listen to the radio or look for Culiacán in the highlights only refers to violence.
None of them are famous or want to be, they only beg that the authorities find a way to pacify their state, none of them refer to one criminal side or the other, it seems an unwritten deal between citizens who only want their lives back, although "they know that there is also violence".
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
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