Breathe
By Areli Paz
Cordura: Hanging straight line, held at 100 meters high and along which you must walk without a net.
Depression: The worst punishment for a mind that wants to be happy.
Broken human: All of them, no one is spared.
I am a ceramic bowl broken and glued back together. In fact all humans are, we have learned to live with the lines of error, failure, frustration, anger and lost sanity.
In the Japanese culture there is a technique called Kintsugi, which consists of repairing broken pieces of ceramic that break and instead of disguising the breakage, they make it more visible, even using liquid gold or silver powder to give "more value" to the wounds... those of the ceramic.
I always criticized those who shouted at her to claim something unfair.
I was one of those. I raged against the valet who hit my car. The evidence was clear, he had done it. I complained calmly, I told him the truth, I'm not going to get angry. Well, he insisted on lying and saying that I was the crazy one. Of course I got angry, raised my voice and "manotee". I was stopped by a lady who said poor guy you are mistreating him and yes, I decided I couldn't be gentle with a guy who lied to my face. It all ended in me taking my anger home.
The car was fixed and life went on. Mine, he surely did not notice his mistake, lying nowadays has become commonplace and even tolerable. I held back.
Another day, I caught up with the owner of the dog who left his dirt on the street, "hey, you forgot this from your dog" and I put it in a baggie, all that was left was for him to take it away and nothing, he just said thank you.
Of course I got angry, I wanted to reach out and smear in his face what his dog had "forgotten" on the sidewalk. I restrained myself.
The hotel next door, or the restaurant next door, very nice but noisy, plays music at about 4 o'clock in the morning, of course it wakes me up and it is inevitable to get angry. When it's the coolest part of the dream, you have to wake up abruptly. Of course I complained and was taken as crazy. I restrained myself.
My phone burned up, I literally blew it up, occupationally and physically. I held back.
I've been in contention for weeks, now it turns out that getting angry is wrong, that telling the truth is wrong, that claiming your rights is complaining and that if you don't like something and decide to say it then you're the crazy old lady.
Now I understand those who are filmed claiming their right. They say that he who gets angry loses, and it is true... One loses one's sanity, one's patience and becomes an unknown human being. In one that the mirror does not recognize and those next to us even less.
I have been depressed for days, I know, it is normal, the condition I have is just that, a low impact depression that one day reaches me, another day I win and so we go through life fighting not to run into each other for many days. Then I want to think that it does not exist and that it goes away by itself, there is no reason. According to my mind.
Then I remember that no, I must have routines, eat healthy, sleep well, exercise, spa, laughter, extreme work and achieve daily connections for my brain to understand that it is very happy.
All the time I work on healthy, fun, permanent connections - all day, all the time, all the time! It's exhausting work. But that's the way it is for me. Then I stop in my little world and the reality of those next door is not much different.
They are also broken humans, also going about gluing together their bits of pottery and life as best they can. Some are highly successful.
I haven't thought about the window again, but I do see people around me looking for theirs.
We are broken humans, but we are capable of hitting each other again, with gold, silver or whatever material. Losing our sanity is normal, it is human, but it is not healthy.
There are people who support you in some way or another, they don't know it, but they do a good job for chaotic minds like mine.
Surely you who read me or pass by, need to know that it is normal to break, that it is normal to stick together and that the broken pieces that don't fit together fill up in different ways.
Then you find a way to take a deep breath and be grateful for what you have that gives value to life.
The country, politics and what is coming can make us lose our sanity, let's not let it break, let no one push us from that straight line to which one clings sometimes you don't even know how.
Why speak from my experience, because that is precisely what makes us more human; recognizing that we lose our sanity, but that we recover it in seconds is what we cannot fail to do.
The opinions expressed are the responsibility of the authors and are absolutely independent of the position and editorial line of the company. Opinion 51.
Comments ()